Wednesday, July 25, 2012

trying to ignore



I'm trying to ignore that appointment in my day timer for next Monday.



The one for Trevy's 48 hour in-patient (boo) EEG.



Because it means we'll be imprisoned in a teensie weensie hospital room until our captors (I totally call them worse behind their backs) decide to release us.






I'm trying to ignore that it's less than a week away now but every time I open up my stinking planner – there it is.



Glaring at me.



I’ve been trying to distract myself.  Playdates and Pinterest only work for so long though.



I’ve been giving myself zero wiggle room for rescheduling.  Hence, his “peacock” this week.  I’m too much of a tight wad to pay for a haircut only to cancel the point of the haircut.



I’ve been telling myself that we’re lucky.  Count your blessings and stuff.  Lucky that Grams and PopPop can keep the big kids for us.  Because the only thing worse than being stuck in a hospital room for two days is being stuck in a hospital room for two days with THREE bored and crabby kids!  I’ve been convincing myself that we’re lucky he (pretty much) only needs one EEG a year now.  I remember the days when we were lucky to make it six months without an admission.  Lucky that I haven’t seen any more clusters involving more than his face.  Lucky this – lucky that.  Blah blah blah.



The fact is…it stinks.












No matter how much I try to ignore or pep talk myself.



It’s just another reminder that even though Trevy has come such a long, wonderful way…



we will always be the family that knows the nooks and crannies and nuisances of the children’s hospital.  Multiple children’s hospitals, actually.



I don’t want to be that family.



Even if I wouldn’t change a thing.



I’m flakey like that.  Always emotionally/spiritually at war with loving what is and yet wishing it different.



All the while trying to ignore that appointment next week until it’s over and done.





  1. Keep your head up Danielle. I will be praying for your family :)

  2. Sending much love to you, stay strong xxx

  3. praying... how does Trevy do during the EEG's?

    1. It's been a little over a year since his last EEG and he's matured a lot - but it's typically torture. He SCREAMS through getting wired up which sets the whole mood for the rest of our captivity. We're stuck in a "cell" and a parent needs to be with him all the time. Our hospital does not provide nursing for EEG rooms. Even going to the bathroom is impossible...never mind grabbing a coffee or a meal. Jonathan doesn't have a flexible I'm usually there with Trevy from 8-6ish. And Jonathan takes the over nights. Trevy has severe ADHD and it's a struggle to keep him entertained. He doesn't watch tv. He might play his iPad for a few minutes. He doesn't like reading books. Or playing with toys for very long. It's just absolute torture! But then his morning he did sit through half an episode of SpongeBob! He IS maturing. So maybe this time around won't be so bad?

      I feel like such a murmerer and really would like to find a way to say "it's not so bad". But it just is that bad. And there is no candy coating it. :/